Adieu For Now

So it is the final day of the Slice of Life Challenge. I’m proud that I’ve actually completed the challenge. There were a few misses here and there, but I’m proud nonetheless. The best thing about this challenge was the wonderful and thoughtful feedback I got from fellow slicers. I feel bad that I haven’t been able to respond to everyone but please know I appreciate all of your feedback and support.

This was a great experience and it came right on time. I don’t think my last 30 days have been typical, lots of loss and tragedy, and fear. It feels like I’ve had more than the norm. So writing about these feelings have helped me get it all out in a healthy manner. I actually read through a few of my old posts the other day, and some of the writings still evoke an emotional reaction from me. My most memorable account is the Saturday after the Central Michigan murders. That had to be the toughest day of the month for me. I remember clearly getting excited about the upcoming spring because of the way the sun was shining that morning, only to feel a pang of guilt for feeling so happy and for having a future to anticipate. I really do release my fears and doubts onto this blog so that it doesn’t consume me. My daughter told me that the only good thing about the month of March is my birthday. Last year a good friend of her’s died in a car crash, another schoolmate committed suicide two weeks after that, this year her close friend lost both parents in a shooting done by the friends brother, her dad almost had a stroke, and her uncle had a stroke and given a prognosis of 2 weeks to live. With that being said, I hold on to my faith and release my worries into this blog. I’m naturally hopeful, happy, and positive. This blog has helped me feed that innate part of my being by releasing all the woe’s that could potentially weigh me down and drain the better part of me.

Thank you fellow slicers for being that listening ear, my confidants, my cheerleaders. I bid you adieu for now…

Told Ya So

Today was a good day. Went out to breakfast with my daughter, we caught up with all the fun she had at her dad’s house. Even though she did not get to go to the water park as planned, they were able to go to a cool indoor amusement park that she really enjoyed. I actually took her to get her nail’s done today instead of earlier this week as originally planned. It’s always wonderful to experience as a mom when someone else illustrates point you’ve been trying to make with your children. Points that go on deaf ears because they feel that with the decade and a half they’ve been on this Earth that they somehow know more than you. So anyways my daughter has been complaining about how tough Junior year is and has been begging me to home school. She thinks homeschooling will be the key to relieving her stress and be much easier than regular school. Well the young lady doing her nails talked about how she did homeschooling her last 2 years of high school. She said how much of a mistake it was and how difficult it was because she had no structure and hardly any instruction. So basically she was teaching herself and still ended up needing a tutor as if she were in traditional high school. She talked about how she stayed up late and slept all day and was lonely because all of her friends were at school. She didn’t go to prom and when she graduated there was no ceremony or celebration, just a piece of paper in the mail. This young lady pretty much told Morgan everything I’ve been telling her all this time. Sure everyone’s experience is different and blah blah blah…at the end of the day,  I got to tell my kid “I told ya so”. Today was a good day 🙂

Borrowed Time

Got some sad news last night, my sisters ex, who’s been battling cancer and recently had a stroke, was given 2 months to live. When I think about this I wonder what exactly does that mean. Like today is March 29th so does that mean on May 29th that’s it. Could it be the week of the 29th or is there a 1-2 week margin of error. What if you go these 2 months worried about “is today the day that I die” , but then live another 2 years and finally die from being so stressed about dying in 2 months. I am not trying to make light of his diagnosis and the prognosis of his destiny. I’m just shedding light on the fact that we never really know when that time will be. My step mom was told over 20 years ago that she had 2 years to live due to congestive heart failure and that was 20 years ago. She’s had some close calls but she’s alive and kicking. Not alive like old lady using a walker and hearing aid alive. This woman gets her hair done, wears her earrings and red lipstick and saunters into a room like her name is Tyra Banks. On the flip side, I’ve seen young vibrant teenagers lose their lives in a flash from car accidents, suicide, overdose. Who know when that time will come. I hate that doctors have the audacity to even think they have that ability. I know it’s a science and many times they are accurate, but sometimes a little information is too much knowledge. I guess it depends on if knowing that you have 2 months to live you do some last minute things. Perhaps apologize to the people you have wronged, take a trip you’ve always wanted to take, skinny dip in a pond just to know you’ve lived on the edge, or make sure you tell all your loved ones how much you truly love them. At the end of the day no one really knows when that day will be. I hope he is able to make the most of his remaining days in this world whether it be 2 months, 2 years, or 2 decades. I will be praying  for this man who has given me 3 of some of my most favorite people in the history of the world. My nephews Jake and Josh, and my niece Alyssa.

Still Growing Up

Seems like life has a tendency to guide you to exactly where you need to be or away from where you don’t need to be. There have been so many instances in my life where I just missed being in an accident, or got somewhere just in time to catch this deal. It seems like timing is everything. I used to always wonder “why me?”, when it seemed like all the misfortune in the world was thrown at my door step. As I look back on those moments I see things much more clearly now. Maybe a job I was wanting didn’t work out, but then I ended up getting an even better job. There are so many examples of times where I thought I wanted one thing to only be shown, with time, that I didn’t have my prospects high enough. All of this is to say…I’m experiencing a strange time in my life. Perhaps it’s growing pains. I’m not the way I was, but not sure what I’m supposed to be. Not sure if that makes sense to anyone, not sure if it even makes sense to me. My perspectives and views on certain things are changing. My sensibility and flexibility are starting to wane. I don’t want to bend or move to accommodate what other people want or think I should want. I just want to be me…whatever that means for the moment.

BFF’s

Hello Fellow Slicers!

We are moving right along with our spring break. Today we didn’t do the mani/pedi but we did do our sushi dinners. Actually got to hang out with another mother daughter duo, one of my oldest friends and her daughter. The girls are literally two months apart in age and have been close friends (cousins) since they were in the womb. I didn’t really grow up with family friends or cousins, none that were my age, actually none at all. So it’s pretty cool to watch my daughter grow up with a young lady whom she is super close with. They are not the kids who talk on the phone all the time. They don’t attend the same school, and my daughter actually can’t stand her play cousin’s friends from school. What they do have is a mutual love and respect for each other. It’s not based on liking all the same things or being the same type of girl. They both like to look pretty and are “girly girls” . But my Morgan is way more introverted and her cousin Victoria is a social butterfly. I guess that works in that they complement each other. I’ve enjoyed watching them grow up over the years together. They used to play Barbies together for hours and have sleepovers all the time. I used to be concerned that as teenagers they will grow apart because of different interests and personalities. But they seem to have the same type of relationship as when they were little. They just get each other. They get upset with each other, but somehow they resolve. If only adult women can foster the type of friendships where you get mad at each other then get over it. Where your friend’s interests are different from yours and it’s okay. Yeah…they are two pretty cool young ladies 🙂

Plans and Perspective

Good evening fellow slicers!

Day 2 of spring break and it’s not looking how any of us planned. The trip my daughter was looking forward to since back in December has been canceled. She was supposed to be heading to her dad’s tomorrow and they were going to go to Wisconsin Dells for the next few days. Well dad has ended up in the hospital with an outrageously high blood pressure and is very fortunate to not have suffered a stroke. So the good news is he should be okay, the bad news is no Wisconsin Dells trip. I told Morgan that it’s okay to be disappointed, however rejoice in the fact that the worst part of her spring break is that she didn’t get the vacation she was looking forward to. So instead of bumming around the house and visiting with friends and doing whatever else we do on “mommy free time”, I will be entertaining my sweet little teeny bopper. For those of you who are parents or even teachers of teenagers know that the word sweet in relation to teenagers is probably a tad bit of sarcasm. Although neither one of us is getting the spring break we planned for, we are so fortunate to not be having the spring break that we could. So day 3 of spring break itinerary, take Morgan to see her dad in the hospital, go to our favorite sushi restaurant for lunch, get our nails done. That’s the plan… we shall see.

Day 1

Hey Fellow Slicers!

It’s Saturday! Day 1 of my spring break and it’s been pretty uneventful. I got up bright and early to get my hair done, then headed off to take the teeny bopper to tutoring. From tutoring we went to visit my niece and her 2 year old son…The Noahhhhhhh! One of my most favorite toddlers on this earth. We played, we danced, and we laughed. I love this age because he’s like a little parakeet and repeats everything you say. That can be a little embarrassing for mom and dad when he repeats a cuss word but still funny to me 🙂 I find it amazing that toddler boys have a knack for always coming super duper close to cracking their heads on…well everything! They jump and climb on things that no one even realized one could jump or climb on. They reach for things that could fall on their face and cause serious damage to their little bodies. When they’re not jumping, climbing, or reaching they are running. They are running with no caution, no sense of “I will be stopping soon”, just running. The best thing about toddler boys, in particular, Mr. Noah, is that every now and then he wills slow down and allow you to get a big cuddly hug. Sometimes that ceaseless running ends up being a run right into your arms. There’s something soooooo special about the feel of little baby arms around your neck. It’s as sweet as the first day of spring break.

Good Evening Fellow Slicers!

I am sitting here writing my blog under the watchful eye of my tired, happy teenager. We have just come home from getting her vacation hair-do did. She refuses to give me a moment of peace because “I haven’t seen you all day”. She’s asking me random questions and sincerely expecting me to respond. The mommy in me is responding and typing simultaneously. I’m not too good at multi tasking so I’m either doing one or both of these activities with only half of my attention. To add to my multi tasking, the news caster is forecasting snow storms for tomorrow morning. What a wonderful way to start spring break 😦  My sad face is just a pretend pouty face. I am so happy to start spring break. Looking forward to regrouping and recharging. A lot has happened in this wacky month of March and I’m ready to wrap it up!

My teeny bopper just declared “I only like March because of your birthday”. I’ll take that.

Until tomorrow my friends.

Life is Good

Guess what day it is fellow slicers? It’s my birthday, it’s my birthday! Yay me 🙂 I love my birthday because I get to be celebrated and treated special and I allow and accept it. 364 days of the year we are the ones in charge of taking care of everyone else’s needs. It’s not a problem, we don’t really mind, it’s just the way it is. If you’re like me, which most of you are, you’re most comfortable when your serving the needs of others. I operate on this need to be needed every day of they year…except my birthday.

Today is the day I indulge in acknowledgements, accolades, and sometimes even presents. Well wishes and special treatment bring it on it’s my birthday you know! My day was not perfect, my class definitely wasn’t perfect, but it’s okay, it’s my birthday. I am happy. I am alive. I am healthy. This blog is complete, short and sweet and it’s okay, it’s my birthday!

Crunch Time

Good Evening Fellow Slicers!

I am trying to get my blog done after my Wednesday night class. I did not have time to complete it before class because I only had time to go to the store and then cook dinner. My child keeps talking to me because we have yet to have our after school chat time. We typically talk about our day over dinner, but today I had to eat during my online face to face class (classy huh). Anyways, I am multi tasking. Typing as I listen to this girl talk about “heaven knows what”. Actually, a very major event happened at her school today. Someone pulled the lock down alarm at her school and that caused much chaos in her school. She was in econ class when it happened. Apparently, the entire staff were at a loss, because they knew that there was no scheduled lock down drill for today. She described how stressed out and anxious her teacher was. He had them stack desks by the class door and other students were given random objects to use as weapons, while they waited to figure out if they were really in danger. The police entered her building armed and ready for anything. The students sat in complete darkness while the teacher went back and forth between manning the class door with a flag in hand ( as a weapon I guess), and anxiously checking his email for information. They all waited like this in their classroom for about 30 minutes until the administration realized that someone pulled the alarm and most importantly there was no danger to the campus. I received a connect ed phone call from the building principal explaining about the mishap and reassuring parents their children are safe and that the student who pulled the alarm will be disciplined.

So I have completed my blog and heard for the 3rd time maybe 4th time how crazy her day was with this lock down situation…My dear sweet innocent daughter. She has not an idea of how the events of today could’ve yielded a completely different outcome. She has not an idea of how every staff in that building has probably aged a good decade, because they were fully aware of how out of the ordinary today’s alarm was. They were wondering exactly how much of a hero they’d be called to be today. How much of that lock down training they’d be putting to use today.

My dear sweet daughter…she has no clue. I’m not sure how I feel about that.